REMINDERS ON LOVE, SINGLE LIFE, PARTNERSHIPS & HEARTBREAK + HERBS TO OPEN THE HEART & EASE GRIEF
| February 15, 2024By Liliana Ruiz-Healy
It’s time to liberate love from the constraints of a calendar date and acknowledge that its essence extends far beyond the confines of a specific day. Our overall well-being demands that we break free from the societal constructs that dictate when and how we express love. The pressure to encapsulate the entirety of love within the narrow timeframe of Valentine’s Day can lead to discontentment and a sense of inadequacy for those who might not be in a traditional, long-term relationship during this period, some might be going through heartbreak, some might be reclaiming their solitude, some might be navigating how to get out of a bad relationship, some might be on the verge on giving up on love…. so let’s shift traditional views.
Lets start by removing the pressure and meaning the word “relationship” entails as relationships come in all sorts of ways: family, friends, lovers, pets, plants, a practice, a ritual, you name it, the depth and intimacy it represents is very personal to all of us. We have this idea that relationships should last until we die, but personally, this belief is one of the most outdated ones for me. The concept that one person is meant to be our forever partner doesn’t align with the dynamic nature of human existence. Nor friends, or a practice, pets. It’s crucial to understand that not all connections are built to withstand the inevitable transformations that life brings. Change is the only constant we have in life. We are always changing with the surprises and complexities of life, relationships should be flexible enough to accommodate growth, and when they don’t anymore, we need to learn how to let go. This does not mean we failed (even though it feels like it). It means we are growing and changing, which sometimes means realignment in our relationships and environment. Every single connection we encounter and create has something to offer and teach, even the messiest, even the most painful ones, even the short lived.
The kind of pain we experience through loss and heartbreak moves through our body as an uninvited stranger we don’t know how to accommodate while we wonder if we’ll ever be happy or in peace again. And as time passes, the pain becomes a part of us. It finds a place in every cell making a home, as we learn -or re-learn how to be happy in a different way than before. The chemical processes that occur in both our mental and physical pathways to create more flexibility within our body is so magnificent that it knows when we are repressing or allowing the feelings and thoughts to pass by, and when we go all in, is how we find happiness and peace again.
And for those who feel they’ll be single forever or think being single is terrible, let’s view it from a different lens, one far away from societal expectations and norms. Singleness is not a void to be filled but a space to be embraced. Independence, rather than a lonely state, should be celebrated as a privilege. The process of self-discovery and self-love that occurs during periods of singleness is invaluable. The more one delves into their individuality while single, the clearer their understanding of self becomes. This self-awareness lays a solid foundation for healthier future relationships, free from the pressure to conform to external expectations.
There’s an undeniable allure in a person who knows themselves, who stands firm in their desires and identity. This self-possession, far from being a barrier to love, is a magnet that attracts genuine connections. Love flourishes when individuals are comfortable in their own skin, unburdened by societal pressures to conform to predefined relationship milestones.
As we navigate the landscape of modern love, dating, heartache and singleness, it becomes apparent that relationships come in diverse forms. There are no standardized molds or universal rules that guarantee success for everyone. The journey of love is as unique as the individuals experiencing it.
So, let’s liberate love from the confines of a single day and the unrealistic expectations of forever. Instead, let’s celebrate the beautiful spectrum of love throughout the entire year. Embrace the ebb and flow of relationships, recognizing that each stage contributes to our personal growth. Love is a journey, not a destination; it’s an ongoing process that deserves acknowledgment beyond the limitations of a calendar date. Ultimately, in freeing ourselves from the pressure of predefined relationship ideals, we pave the way for authentic connections that evolve naturally over time. At the end of the day life is about keeping finding ways. To take every painful and joyful situation and allow them to shape us into more compassionate and aware humans, fostering deep healing.